final musing

for once, i am very apprehensive in penning my entry today. its back again. The whole lot of problem that i thot had vanished in thin air, years ago, came back to me again. I rem just almost 2 yrs back, Sel had "slapped" me to my senses when i was pouring my heart out while seated in my car. It was almost 1am after our late night karaoke session, and i parked my car along the roadside, and telling her the problem that bothered me so much.

Years later, problem resurfaced, and escalated to a bigger scale. Its sheer madness, i thought to myself. F0r once, i cant even tell bestie. hahaha... i always wonder if i will die one day, carrying the root of the problem to my graveyard? Choi choi choi!!!! CNY's ard the corner. Shldnt be saying such inauspicious thg. Anyway, not
gonna talk abt it anymore.

What an irony! Just last night, cheeseboy and me were laughing at last Friday's club-out with the gals, and he said i'm "Ms Sensitive". He said i was too naggy, kept worrying if everyone's hvg fun or anyone felt left out. Just when i felt all smug abt the "Ms Sensitive" title, i did something this noon, beyond my own comprehension. For once, I thot i lost it. Lost my cool, lost my attitude, lost my positivity, and most importantly, lost my directions. Got angry with a fren for no reason. Bleh! Thats bad indeed, considering that I have nvr gotten angry with my frens. And this is a friend i've know for years! What a shitass i am!

Things are fine cos we arent some kiddos who turned against one another after some silly incidents. We are right as rain now. But guess some damage's done, and cant be undone. But things arent as easy as they seem. Well, moving on is good, at least for me.

Anyway, i must be contented with hb n son by my side. troubles seem to stay away, as i am always busy humouring both father and son. No time to further dwell. Maybe things shld stay tis way? Like what bestie said to me during msn tonight, "women are all mad"... hahaha, bestie is ALWAYS right.